Wednesday, April 28, 2004
40 Ways to Know that you are a New Yorker
My friend sent me an email forward entitled "40 Ways to know that you are a New Yorker". Normally I read these, maybe crack a smile and hit delete. But, in this case, I saw it as a way to get back into my writing habit. Needless to say, I have been having trouble feeling inspired with a lot of things lately. So, this might be just the push that I need. I have given myself an assignment. I will pick my top ten favorites and for the next ten days I will expand on each of the topics to show how it affects my personal life. Hopefully I don't bore you guys too much.
Here's the complete list. If you have any favorites, let me know.
1. You are going home from work by subway and you know exactly where
on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front
of the stairways at your home station.
2. You refuse to eat any pizza slice that can't be folded in half so
that you can eat it while you walk.
3. You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in
Texas. (it is pronounced House-Ton)
5. You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road
(speed limit, turn signals, etc).
6. Someone passes out on the train - you mistakenly think he is dead
and think, "Why does he have to die on MY train because this is going
to make me late for my appointment."
7. You cross the street anywhere but in the corners, yelling at the
cars for not respecting the fact.
8. You move 8,000 miles away...spend 10 years learning the local
language and yet when you open your mouth to speak people still say,
"you're from Brooklyn aren't you?"
9. You return after 10 or more years living outside NYC, and the first
food you want are real pizza and White Castle sliders.
10. You start thinking that a 500 square foot apartment is large.
11. Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot
house in the suburbs that was the same price as your 500 square foot
apartment that you commute 35 minutes by subway to... And you think:
"sucker."
12. You know the differences between the various Ray's Pizza
establishments.
13. You see Harrison Ford walking down the street and nobody seemed
to care to look at him.
14. You know who Dr. Z is... (inside joke...us NYCers get it)
15. You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which
you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.
16. You know that the off the shelf insecticides work as laughing gas
to the super resistant cockroaches in your building.
17. You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the
4 major food groups: Chinese, Mexican, Italian or Indian.
18. You wouldn't dream of going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
19. Your internal clock and daily calendar are permanently set to know
when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are suspended or
in effect.
20. You know what a bodega is.
21. You freak out because a stranger says hello.
22. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.
23. You pay no attention to the nice lady walking down the road having
a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
24. You pay "only" $530 a month to park the car.
25. You watch the show "Sex and the City" as a documentary about the
people you know.
26. You visit friends out of town and you can't get to sleep because
the quiet freaks you out.
27. Your reaction to a presidential visit isn't "oh boy, what an
honor" but: "oh no, what a pain traffic is going to be."
28. The names Crazy Eddie, Tom Carvel and Joe Franklin bring a smile
to your face.
29. When as the announcement comes on the PA on the subway platform
you turn your head, cock your ear, and when it's over you walk to the
stairs to a cho! rus of, "Wait! Wait! What did she say??!"
30. You can take a catnap on the subway and wake up when your stop is
announced.
31. You looked forward to riding the subway to read the next
installment of Marisol and Julio.
32. The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if
it is beer.
33. You understand that the plural form of you is youse.
34. You cheerfully make left turns from the right-hand lane, and give
old ladies the finger as they cut you off in traffic, but would NEVER
make a right turn on a red light.
35. You know that if a parking space looks too good to be true, it is.
36. You're making $70,000 and you're "scraping" by.
37. Nothing is north or south it's uptown or downtown.
38. Almost everyone you know has a story about how he finally got
home after the WTC fell.
39. Killer Bees are not just insects anymore, but the taxi cabs that
try to run you off the road.
40. You take harsh criticism of the city by a non-New Yorker as a
personal insult, but readily accept and often agree with the same
criticism coming from a fellow New Yorker.
Here's the complete list. If you have any favorites, let me know.
1. You are going home from work by subway and you know exactly where
on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front
of the stairways at your home station.
2. You refuse to eat any pizza slice that can't be folded in half so
that you can eat it while you walk.
3. You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in
Texas. (it is pronounced House-Ton)
5. You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road
(speed limit, turn signals, etc).
6. Someone passes out on the train - you mistakenly think he is dead
and think, "Why does he have to die on MY train because this is going
to make me late for my appointment."
7. You cross the street anywhere but in the corners, yelling at the
cars for not respecting the fact.
8. You move 8,000 miles away...spend 10 years learning the local
language and yet when you open your mouth to speak people still say,
"you're from Brooklyn aren't you?"
9. You return after 10 or more years living outside NYC, and the first
food you want are real pizza and White Castle sliders.
10. You start thinking that a 500 square foot apartment is large.
11. Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot
house in the suburbs that was the same price as your 500 square foot
apartment that you commute 35 minutes by subway to... And you think:
"sucker."
12. You know the differences between the various Ray's Pizza
establishments.
13. You see Harrison Ford walking down the street and nobody seemed
to care to look at him.
14. You know who Dr. Z is... (inside joke...us NYCers get it)
15. You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which
you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.
16. You know that the off the shelf insecticides work as laughing gas
to the super resistant cockroaches in your building.
17. You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the
4 major food groups: Chinese, Mexican, Italian or Indian.
18. You wouldn't dream of going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
19. Your internal clock and daily calendar are permanently set to know
when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are suspended or
in effect.
20. You know what a bodega is.
21. You freak out because a stranger says hello.
22. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.
23. You pay no attention to the nice lady walking down the road having
a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
24. You pay "only" $530 a month to park the car.
25. You watch the show "Sex and the City" as a documentary about the
people you know.
26. You visit friends out of town and you can't get to sleep because
the quiet freaks you out.
27. Your reaction to a presidential visit isn't "oh boy, what an
honor" but: "oh no, what a pain traffic is going to be."
28. The names Crazy Eddie, Tom Carvel and Joe Franklin bring a smile
to your face.
29. When as the announcement comes on the PA on the subway platform
you turn your head, cock your ear, and when it's over you walk to the
stairs to a cho! rus of, "Wait! Wait! What did she say??!"
30. You can take a catnap on the subway and wake up when your stop is
announced.
31. You looked forward to riding the subway to read the next
installment of Marisol and Julio.
32. The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if
it is beer.
33. You understand that the plural form of you is youse.
34. You cheerfully make left turns from the right-hand lane, and give
old ladies the finger as they cut you off in traffic, but would NEVER
make a right turn on a red light.
35. You know that if a parking space looks too good to be true, it is.
36. You're making $70,000 and you're "scraping" by.
37. Nothing is north or south it's uptown or downtown.
38. Almost everyone you know has a story about how he finally got
home after the WTC fell.
39. Killer Bees are not just insects anymore, but the taxi cabs that
try to run you off the road.
40. You take harsh criticism of the city by a non-New Yorker as a
personal insult, but readily accept and often agree with the same
criticism coming from a fellow New Yorker.
